What a wonderful life!

My poverty is so chronic and comfortable I feel like I’m on top of the world. I get panic attacks just thinking about wealth, luxury and prestige. That is why anytime I gracefully ride on public buses and see people driving expensive vehicles with brand name attires, shoes and jewelries, I pray for God to lighten their unnecessary burdens. The only challenges to poverty though are your wife, who is ready to serve life behind bars for killing a useless animal, and the collection callers. But I have answers for both. My wife is a believer so I compiled all the bible verses praising poverty and condemning corrupt wealth, now she thinks I’m a prophet. For the collection callers, their only objective in life is to squeeze the last penny out of a dying soul and if they know your unclaimed body will be buried in the potter’s field, you will never hear from them again, ever.  About my children, whenever they frustrate their mother (this occurs every other minute) about money, she would loudly screamed (her trademark therapy) “why can’t you ask your useless father doing nothing except watching CNN?” Their usual reply is to murmur “how can we ask money to a man you just gave one way metro card.” Lol.