Adetula advocates for premarital counseling among Muslim couples

Dr. Aisha Adetula, a seasoned marriage counselor and relationship coach from Nigeria, has emphasized the necessity of premarital counseling for couples seeking to navigate the complexities of marriage.

The counselor said this in a compelling address at an event, organized by the Regional Council of Nigerian Muslim Organizations Inc., to educate the Muslim community on relationship dynamics.

In an exclusive interview with a Muslim Parrot correspondent, Dr. Adetula stated, “As a counselor from Nigeria, I am here to engage with Muslim women in New York City on the vital topic of relationships. We all recognize that marriage presents worldly challenges. However, the absence of premarital counseling makes it increasingly difficult for us to cope with these obstacles. The Qur’an promises that we will face tests in various situations, and counseling provides us with the tools to understand and manage these challenges effectively.”

She elaborated on the importance of premarital counseling, stating, “This type of counseling equips us with critical insights into what we may encounter during our marriage journey. For instance, navigating the complexities of a Muslim marriage can feel like venturing into uncharted territory. That’s why we emphasize the need for awareness and preparation—it is essential for our growth and understanding.”

Adetula highlighted a common issue among Muslims, saying, “We often regard the Qur’an as our sole guide, but it is crucial that we not only read the text but also comprehend its meaning and application in our lives. The solution lies in seeking professional counseling. While family support is valuable, it can sometimes introduce biases and judgments. Professional counseling offers a more objective perspective, free from emotional entanglements.”

She urged, “Recognizing that a problem exists is the first step toward resolution. If we fail to acknowledge our challenges, we cannot accept correction or change. I implore my fellow Muslims to seek professional counseling; it is an essential path forward. Many decisions we make carry consequences we may not fully understand.”

The professional counselor also addressed cultural misconceptions that affect marriages, particularly within the African context.

“In many cases, traditional attitudes lead men to believe they are superior in their relationships with women. However, there is no cultural or religious mandate that supports the idea of men not aiding their wives. The life of the Prophet Muhammad illustrates this perfectly—he engaged with his wives on their terms, demonstrating mutual support and understanding.”

She concluded her remarks by emphasizing the significance of partnership in marriage: “We must remember that marriage is about uplifting one another. Our worship extends to how we interact with each other. The Prophet taught us that our goodness is reflected in how we treat our families. It is crucial for men to shift away from outdated cultural mindsets that hinder harmonious relationships.”

This event was hosted and organized by Hajia Mariam Agbelusi under the RCNMO leadership of Alhaji Rilwan Durosinmi.